


There is No Difference Between the Midwest and Hell

by montynavarrno



Series: The Hamfam goes to college [18]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, alex has a panic attack, fuck the midwest honestly, kansas is the middle of hell, storms happen, the midwest is hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 09:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7216669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montynavarrno/pseuds/montynavarrno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's spring break, and the Revolutionary Crew is headed to Kansas to hang out with Hercules' family (sort of). Those not from Kansas quickly learn the the midwest is actually hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is No Difference Between the Midwest and Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, Alex does have a panic attack in this. Also, there are storms, so if any of this is triggering to you I might recommend skipping this story.

People from not the Midwest were weird. 

That's what Hercules had decided. 

They didn't seem to comprehend that a day being windy was more than just a little puff of air every half hour or so. A windy day was having sand pelt you as you walked across a parking lot with your hair whipping every direction, and the very real feeling of possibly blowing away. That was a mildly windy day in the Midwest. People just didn't understand.

His friends didn't actually understand wind either. An air current would make John Laurens think that buildings were going to be blown over. 

It was kind of pathetic, but endearing. 

Alex knew what wind was. Tropical breezes and all that. It wasn't exactly the same as wind in Kansas, but still. Hercules thought that Alex rather liked the lack of wind. 

Lafayette had never experienced wind like wind in Kansas. Sure, Paris could have massive storms and such, but in comparison they weren't much.

All of this was why Hercules was so pleased that his friends were coming to Kansas with him. They would finally get to experience real wind. 

They weren't prepared. They were driving on the highway from the airport. John was actually driving. Hercules was in the passenger seat so that he could give directions. Lafayette and Alex were playing travel hangman in the backseat. 

It had been a long flight. They had to get up super early to make it. Life sucked that way. Either way, the sky was just beginning to lighten. Hercules had missed this. However, he was glad that he was traveling west so that the sun wouldn't be in their eyes. That was probably the worst thing. It made driving dangerous and overall not enjoyable. 

The car was quiet, except for Hercules occasionally letting John know when an exit was coming up. The silence was that calm sort of silence, when everyone is comfortable with each other and didn't feel the need to converse to fill the quiet. It also probably helped that Alex was mostly asleep in the back. It wasn't that he hated silence. It's just that he always had a thought buzzing in his head. 

The drive was going smoothly. Then the car suddenly jerked to side. John sat up straighter in his seat, eyes wide as he jerked the car back to where it had been. "Sorry guys." he apologized. "I must've fallen asleep for a second."

"Jesus fuck, John. Do you need to pull over and switch with one of us?" Alex asked, breathing erratically. He wasn't a fan of cars. 

"Oui. Maybe Hercules should drive?" said Lafayette. 

"Why should I drive? It was just the wind." Hercules' statement was met with silence. John was looking at him like he was crazy. Alex and Lafayette were the same way. Hercules frowned at them. "What?"

"What the fuck do you mean that was the wind? Can wind really blow this hunk of metal with four people inside off the road?" John looked terrified. 

"Yeah? Is this a Midwestern thing? Am I really that backwards?"

"What the fuck even is Kansas?" Alex asked.

"Wheat, weird weather, and Westboro Baptist Church."

"That was some wonderful alliteration there."

"Thank you Alex."

"Am I the only one who is really freaked out that fucking wind can blow us off the road?" said John.

"Non, I am worried too," said Lafayette. 

"It'll be fine guys. I've driven this highway a hundred thousand times. I've only seen about ten crashes due to weather in the last year here. I mean occasionally I'll see people almost go off the road, but the roads here are designed to make that happen less."

"Hercules what the fuck that's ridiculous."

"LEAVE MY KANSAN WAYS ALONE JOHN."

_________________________________________________________________________

About half an hour after Herc's explanation of Kansas wind, Alex piped up with a topic different from their current topic of the "dat boi" meme ("Dat boi is clearly superior to Pepe." "Shut up John, you wouldn't know a good meme if it sucked your dick." "Guess that means you're a good meme then Alex." "Both of you shut up, I'm not Lafayette, I don't want to know about your sex lives."). 

"Hey, why is the light fading?"

"I don't know." Hercules shrugged.

"I have another question."

"Shoot."

"Why is the sky completely black up ahead?"

"Probably a storm, no big deal." 

"Hercules it is COMPLETELY BLACK why are we driving TOWARDS IT???"

Hercules laughed. "Relax guys. It's way up ahead. Probably won't his us until after we get to my parents' house."

John was gripping the steering wheel very tightly. "I am not driving in a storm from hell."

"You won't have to. That's a tiny as fuck anvil cloud. It's just going to be a little thunderstorm. This is storm season after all."

"Hercules that cloud is massive."

"It's nothing, John. Look, I just pulled up the weather. It's not even a severe thunderstorm. We will be fine."

"I feel like your regular thunderstorms are normal people's severe thunderstorms," said Lafayette.

Hercules thought for a moment. "No, your severe thunderstorms are regular thunderstorms. Or just puny rainstorms."

"Guys I'm still more concerned about the actual death cloud that I am driving towards as opposed to whether or not Hercules' death storm is normal or not," John said.

"It's not a death storm. You'll know when it's a death storm."

"That's really ominous."

"Here in Kansas everything is ominous Alex."

"Fuck off Hercules," said Alex, and the conversation lapsed into silence for a while as everyone except Hercules waited for the death storm to kill them all.

__________________________________________________________________________

The death storm didn't kill them. They made it into town without incident. In fact, the storm they could see in the distance missed them completely. 

"See? I told y'all it was nothing to worry about," said Hercules as he and his friends got their bags out of the trunk. 

"Oh, so you're some sort of weather god now?" said Alex teasingly.

Hercules fixed him with a very intense stare. "All Midwesterners are weather gods. We have to be, in order to appease the highest weather deity so that we don't get fucking murdered by the weather."

"Forget Hercules being a weather god, he just said y'all like he's a southerner," John said.

"Listen, it happens okay? I didn't ask to be born in the state that's right next to Missouri. And don't even bother trying to make fun of me. Alex took a video of you with your southern accent and your 'y'alls' and other southernisms when y'all two were in South Carolina. You can't escape the south John. You have a southern accent when you're tired or stressed."

"Damn Herc, back at it again with roasting John's southern ass."

"Thank you, my tiny crêpe."

"Of course, mon amour."

"Y'all are gay."

"So are you John."

"Oh yeah."

__________________________________________________________________________________

Hercules was very pleased at the way that his boyfriend and friends were getting along with his parents. Of course, Paul and Susan Mulligan were very cheerful and kind, so it wasn't hard to get along with them.

Lafayette seemed to be bonding really well with his sister Athena, especially since the last time he was over he had accidentally (well, more totally ignored societal boundaries) given her too much information into their relationship. 

Everything about this trip was going perfectly.

__________________________________________________________________________________

When the foursome stepped out of the house the next day with Hercules intent on showing them around the town, John noted happily "Hey, it's less windy today!"

Hercules snorted. "You know nothing, John Laurens."

Alex frowned. "But he's right. It's less windy today."

"Just you wait, Alex. Just you wait."

__________________________________________________________________________________

As it turned out, Hercules was right. They were in the parking lot of the public library (Alex had insisted) and pieces of small gravel and dirt were hitting their backs as they walked to the library.

"Does Kansas ever fucking stop with this wind?" Alex asked, his eyes watering.

"Not really no."

"Fuck."

__________________________________________________________________________________

The vacation carried on in much the same fashion. John, Alex, and Lafayette would complain about the wind and how it messed up their hair. Hercules would laugh at them. 

On their fourth day in Kansas, it was noticeably cloudy. They went about their day normally. They went to the local mall to screw around for a few hours.

When they stepped outside of the mall, Hercules instantly noticed something was off. 

"Yo, Herc, man, what's up?" asked Alex, looking at Hercules with concern. 

"Something's not right." He looked around worriedly.

"I have no idea what's not right. It's a great temperature, and the sun is covered by the clouds. I mean, the sky's a little darker than I'd like, but hey, at least there's no wind for once!" John said, grinning.

Hercules' eyes widened. "Shit. Fuck. Everyone go to the car right now. We need to get home."

"What's wrong?" Lafayette asked. 

"There's no wind!" Hercules shouted as he ran to the car. 

"How is that a problem?" Alex panted as he tried to keep up.

Hercules didn't say anything as he unlocked the car hurriedly and motioned his friends inside. They buckled up quickly, scared by how serious the usually joking Hercules was. It wasn't until they were on the road back to the house that Hercules said "No wind means bad weather. Like really bad weather. Especially with the sky this dark."

"What do you mean 'really bad weather'?" Alex asked in a small voice.

"I hate to say it for fear of it coming true, but it could mean tornados," said Hercules, eyes on the road as he started inching last the speed limit.

"Fuck," Alex whispered. Nobody noticed as his breath started to quicken slightly.

____________________________________________________________________________  
They made it home before it started raining. It didn't actually start raining until nearly forty five minutes after they got home. 

The rest of Hercules' family were out visiting some family friends. It was only the four friends in the house. 

Hercules had moved his sister's fish tank to the basement already. "We're not guaranteed to have a tornado, but dragging the dog and cats down there is going to be hard enough without having to wrangle the fish tank down there quickly as well," he explained when John questioned him. 

Everyone seemed calm. Hercules was keeping an eye on the weather. There wasn't a whole lot of talking. Alex and John were reading, and Lafayette was playing a game on his phone. Then Hercules spoke up. 

"I don't want to alarm you guys, but there's rotation near the city."

"Is that bad?" asked John.

"Usually. We'll only go down to the basement if the sirens go off though. I'm not one of those Kansans who just stay upstairs like idiots. Or even go outside." 

They had yet to notice that Alex was basically hyperventilating at this point. Almost as soon as Hercules had finished his little speech, a high pitched whining started started up.

"Okay, down to the basement. Right now. I'll grab the animals." With that, Hercules went off to grab the animals.

________________________________________________________________________

They all made it into the basement when Alex finally collapsed into panic. The other three looked at him in alarm. 

"Alex? Are you okay?" John looked like he was about to panic at the sight of Alex panicking.

"I- I don't- like storms," Alex said shakily. 

"Can you tell us why?" asked Hercules gently. 

Alex shook his head. It seemed like he had lost the ability to speak. 

"Mom petit lion, come here. It will be fine. We are safe." Lafayette maneuvered Alex so that he was basically cuddling with the three of them. 

"Look, it hasn't even started descending. It's moving quickly. We're gonna be fine. I'm willing to bet that they're going to call of the warning in a minute or two." Hercules said, sort of awkwardly patting Alex on the arm.

Hercules was right. Within two minutes of his prediction, the sirens stopped sounding. 

"It's okay to move upstairs now. It might even be more comfortable," Hercules suggested. 

Alex nodded. He stood up shakily and made his way upstairs. He had no sooner made it to the living room where he collapsed exhaustedly on the couch. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine. I just want to know what triggered it and see if I can help," said Hercules. 

John nodded as he sat down beside Alex to cuddle his boyfriend. "We just want to help."

"You don't have to tell us until you're ready," Lafayette added.

"I'm not sure how much I can tell you. I don't remember a lot of it," Alex said. 

"Whatever you remember and want to tell us is okay," Hercules said gently. 

"Well... When I was back on St. Croix, there was a hurricane. I don't remember a lot of it. I think I've blocked a lot of it out in my memory. But I remember all the water and the wind and so many people dying. It's awful. I really don't like storms much anymore." Alex said all of this slowly and painfully, as if he was dragging it out of his very soul. His friends could see why. It would be a horrific experience.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. That must have been awful." John buried his face in Alex's hair as he cuddled him harder.

"For real. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm here for you," Hercules said.

"And me as well. And probably the Schuylers as well. We are your friends, Alex. You don't have to go through this alone," Lafayette said. 

"You guys are good friends."

__________________________________________________________________________

A few days after the storm, it came time for the group of friends to leave. But since their flight didn't leave until the evening, they agreed to take Athena to go get another fish.

They were walking out of the store when it began raining. 

"What the fuck? It's sunny outside!" John exclaimed. 

"Does this not happen in other states?" Athena asked, looking between her brother and her brother's friends, all of whom were looking at the sky with utter astonishment.

"Well, it does sometimes, but it's more like a sprinkle than an actual rainstorm," Alex said, still looking at the sky with a dumbfounded expression.

"Other states are fucked up." 

"Kansas is fucked up," said Hercules' friends at the same time.

Hercules laughed. They were right. Kansas was home, but it was hell.

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck the midwest honestly. Also, all of Alex's panic things are based on my own experiences, so yeah. This took so much longer to write than it should have. It's over now.


End file.
